Check Marks

Check marks by many aspects of my time in America and items on the list before I head out again. The white board is ready for new lesson plans even though I have plenty to work with daily.  The spiral staircase has been thorough.

To watch my mother open and embrace the changes in life's path at 85 is inspiring and a notable lesson.  It is never too late for change. The family is noting her radiance.

The interview of a mentor is growing to a natural point of completion.

My friend's shoulder has mended beyond the range of motion of the other. The horse is jumping and the door is opening to the dream.

Reconnected with parts of the family I have not seen in 10 years.  Very welcoming and loving.

Jaz is healing and has the perfect caretaker.

The new car will help a friend while I am away.

Items securely stored away.

My recovery has been smooth and steady. The dizziness is even beginning to subside.

Electronics in good order for travel, photography, and communication.

The inner realm is quietly observing and waiting while the stage props prepare to change.

Courage in Aging

Interesting to look through the lens of an aging mother (85) who is walking 24 hours after hip replacement surgery.  She cares for the house and garden and it motivates her to stay active, fit, and engaged in life.  She never thought she would be using a cane or a walker, but she knows she is fortunate that it is temporary.  The pain and inability to garden and climb on the roof to clean leaves out of the rain gutters motivated her to embrace surgery. All of the ways we are propelled to step towards the fire.

Reflecting on my inevitability of aging. Yet another turn in the life cycle.  On day two, the physical therapist told her not to be too good at her exercises or they would send her home instead of the rehabilitation facility. Thank you for a glimpse of the warrior spirit in all stages of life.

Rereading the Bhagavad Gita

Thank you dear friend for loaning me another version of the Gita.  How lovely to submerge my mind in such wisdom and my inner being in such truth.  It makes me realize how far outside I live from this place and how much there is to let go of.  I was recently reflecting that my relationship to horses has shifted a lot, but my outer reaction feels somewhat mechanical because of the limits of the body's reactions.  I see Sue walking through life, making mistakes, learning, growing, and the deepest inner place waits patiently--like a loving parent of a child.  The outer world often judges, blames, and criticizes; I quietly try to remove myself from this practice, but still fall hard in moments of egoic outbursts.  The reading is soothing, quieting, and stilling, but the ladling from two buckets continues.

My resistance to the two-legged world has shifted. It is more complex, but doesn't need to be placed on the second shelf now. There is an easing in breathing with this shift, but to be in the presence of the four-legged, winged, finned, scaled, etc. is always dear to my heart.  Thank you Gurudev, Pahari Baba, and all of the Beings who have aided me in this shift--the tears fall through my eyes but from my heart.

Recovering steadily from the accident and have immense gratitude for this return.  The teaching on so many levels is remarkable.

Doing-Being-Doing Options

Interesting to examine being in a society based on doing.  The internal pull is to being, but the external pull is to doing.  Earth requirements promote doing.  Source requirements promote being. At some point, the doing becomes futile without the being coupled with the doing. One may need to step away from the doing to unveil the state of being, but at some point, the wave of doing approaches as the ebb and flow of the ocean.

Beautiful documentation of people's call to doing from the inner place of being--9/11 remembrance. Will diplomacy lead us to resolution in Syria instead of bombing?  It is mind-bending at times to hear what pours out of people's mouths in this deliberation.  I can only imagine from other cultures and view points what it must look like. Gassing one's own and then using force as a punishment. "Street rules?"  What are they really?

Inner And Outer Critic

As my desire to communicate with two-leggeds and not create lint or disturbances continues, I observe a moment in the contact while instructing people that humans often contract when they are observed.  The contraction appears to be some combination of inner and outer critic (ego) that gets involved with the process.  I have always viewed it as lint or mud or something that creates separation.  With the four-leggeds, their capacity for self reflection is less, so their moment of contraction is often perceived as more physical in nature until one gets to know the sensitivity of the unspoken world of animals.

This has become very evident while instructing friends, since I know them in a deep capacity and the momentary shift is quite noticeable.  As I continue to examine my own role in presentation, word choice, detail of sharing etc., I am starting to understand that the break isn't always on my side, so I just need to wait and keep my heart open.  Once again examining what happens in the gap can be very powerful.

The inner and outer critic is remarkable in its nature of creating a story.  As I need to prepare for formal dining on the upcoming cruise, I revisited the pain of dressing elegantly and stylishly.  Why am I more comfortable in my gym clothes with my stomach bare than fully, fashionably clothed?  After walking through so many fires of self examination, it has caught me by surprise to experience such a superficial, blind spot.  The spiral staircase three years later; I shouldn't be surprised that no stone is left unturned. Nice job inner and outer critic--the story from childhood.  How nice to take this belief system to the surrender pile.  Now I can have fun with the human game of dressing.  How fortunate that the closet full of clothes still fit without alteration.

(My recovery form the car accident continues to be an opportunity for deepening in so many ways. Really enjoying working with the Physical Therapist and learning cool insight into the body function on the physical level.  It is supporting my recent completion of the NASM Corrective Exercises Training.  http://selfseeds.com/pelvic-floor-lesson/ )

Pain As The Motivator To Go Deeper

I was lamenting about pain as the true motivator to go deeper.  Thank you Bowl of Saki.  My recent accident has cracked my nut more deeply--thank you.

Pleasure blocks, but pain clears the way of inspiration.                         Bowl of Saki, September 4, by Hazrat Inayat Khan

Commentary by Pir-o-Murshid Inayat Khan: Pain has a great power; the truth of God is born in pain, sincerity rises out of pain. Metaphysically, the heart is a gate, and the gate is closed when the feeling is hardened, and the gate is open when there is some pain.    ~~~ "Sangatha I, Tasawwuf", by Hazrat Inayat Khan (unpublished) Suppose a person goes on a bicycle in the streets of Paris and says, 'I shall go straight on, because my object is just to keep the line I have taken. If a car comes my way, I shall not mind it, I shall just go on.' This person will come against something which is more powerful than he, and he will destroy himself. The wise cyclist, therefore, will see that there is a vehicle before him, or that the road is blocked: he will take another way. At the time it is just a little hindrance, yet that resignation makes him safe from disaster and gives him a chance to strike another line by which he will come to the same destination.    from  http://wahiduddin.net/mv2/VIII/VIII_2_20.htm Tagore says: 'When the string of the violin was being tuned it felt the pain of being stretched, but once it was tuned then it knew why it was stretched'. So it is with the human soul. While the soul goes through pain, torture and trouble it thinks that it would have been much better if it had gone through life without it. But once it reaches the culmination of it then, when it looks back, it begins to realize why all this was meant: it was only meant to tune the soul to a certain pitch.    from  http://wahiduddin.net/mv2/XIV/XIV_16.htm My murshid, Abu Hashim Madani, once said that there is only one virtue and only one sin for a soul on this path: virtue when he is conscious of God and sin when he is not. No explanation can describe the truth of this except the experience of the contemplative, to whom, when he is conscious of God, it is as if a window is open, which is facing heaven, and when he is conscious of the self, the experience is the opposite. For all the tragedy of life is caused by consciousness of the self. All pain and depression are caused by this, and anything that can take away the thought of the self helps to a certain extent to relieve man from pain; but God-consciousness gives perfect relief.    from  http://wahiduddin.net/mv2/IX/IX_10.htm Inward